Under pressure? Don't grip
How learning to soften and expand can unlock your game when the stakes feel high
Think about the last time you felt the pressure to perform. It may have been prior to giving a talk, hosting an event, or competing in a game. How did your body respond to that moment? What thoughts occupied your mind?
If you’re like most people, pressure situations invite tension. Your heart races, your focus narrows, your breath becomes shallow, and your shoulders move towards our ears. Your entire system says, “Brace. Lock in. Hold it together.” You grip harder and simultaneously push harder, demanding more from yourself.
This response makes sense, since the brain perceives pressure as a threat, and the body responds by armoring up.
But what if holding it together is actually holding you back? What if the very response that’s meant to protect you actually restricts your performance?
The pressure response
It’s important to remember that not all pressure is bad. In fact, we often need a bit of pressure to perform well. When we hit the sweet spot, our self-awareness increases, we become more alert, our reaction time decreases, and our attention rests on what’s relevant. However, under too much pressure, our sympathetic nervous system shifts into overdrive. While this fight-flight-freeze response is great for escaping danger, it’s not ideal for fine motor control or quick and sound decision making. Furthemore, excess pressure leads to tunnel vision, impairs our ability to retrieve memories, and tightens our muscles. This cascade of events leads to mechanical movements and an interpretation that we need to survive, not necessarily perform well.
Is there another way?
In sport psychology, we talk about finding your performance sweet spot—that optimal zone where you're alert, but not anxious; focused, but not frantic. You experience just enough pressure to perform well. When the pressure goes beyond that, you’re pushed out of that zone and into hyperactivation. That’s when overthinking creeps in, timing breaks down, and what felt automatic now feels disjointed.
There’s a concept in yoga philosophy that can help us understand the quality with which to approach our performance: aparigraha. This sanskrit word translates to “non-attachment” or “non-gripping.” It’s the principle of creating space between yourself and your desired outcome. It’s an invitation to engage fully in the present moment without clinging to ideas about the future. What if instead of exercising our need to force or control, we practiced softening and expanding? What if, when we feel the pressure build, we breathe deeper, trust more, and ease up?
Softening as a strategy
Let’s start utilizing a new performance cue: Soften. Expand. When you’re about to perform, let your shoulders drop, deepen your breath, and send that signal to your body that you’re safe. Allow yourself to perform from a place of freedom instead of tension.
Here are specific ways to practice this shift:
1. Soften the Body
Do a quick body scan before you perform. Release your jaw and unstick your tongue from the roof of your mouth. See if you can feel your scalp relax. It may help to tense your whole body and then release it.
2. Expand the Breath
Draw in a full inhale, followed by a long exhale. Do this for 5-7 rounds to calm your nervous system. By using your breath, you signal to your brain that you’ve got this.
3. Shift Your Cue Words
Trade outcome-driven commands (“Don’t mess this up,” “You have to win”) for present-focused, expansive ones. Think: “Smooth.” “Steady.” “Open.” “Here.”
4. Feel the Ground
Literally. Bring your awareness to where your body connects with the earth—your feet in your shoes, your sit bones in the seat, your hands on the handlebars. Let gravity support you and, yes, soften.
Softening is really about trust—trusting your preparation, your body, your intuition. It’s about loosening the grip just enough to let your best rise to the surface, rather than trying to force it there.
So the next time pressure tightens around you, try this:
Don’t grip harder.
Soften. Expand.
And let what you’ve trained for unfold.
